Physical exercise is something that you need to do on a regular basis. If you’re looking for examples of great fitness exercises to try out, you’ll find them on our site.

A regular exercise program of either running, walking, cycling, swimming, aerobics or any other physical exercise helps to improve the efficiency of the human body in many ways. A healthy exercise regimen can help strengthen the body physically, as well as make you more confident and help you avoid some future illnesses.

Exercise keeps your bones and joints in line and strong, so the benefits aren’t purely superficial. It also acts to strengthen your cardiovascular system, to help keep your heart healthy. A few great fitness exercises used in conjunction with a healthy lifestyle and healthy diet can help you live longer and better.

A general feeling of improved well-being can be found through light exercises, so there is no need to overdo things. Light walking is probably the easiest fitness exercise there is; yet this doesn’t mean it isn’t a great fitness exercise. It helps blow the cobwebs away and can improve the heart, lower blood pressure and improve physique. All of these things help keep you healthy, active and measurably improve your lifestyle.

Great fitness exercises can include the use of weights, a fitness ball, exercise machines or just you and your muscles.

Combining physical exercise with nutritional supplements can vastly improve all of your physical and mental attributes and decrease the possibility of illness and damage, especially related to muscles, bones, blood, and even the heart. Exercising also helps release hormones throughout your body and the adrenalin that physical exertion releases can improve mental health. So you see, great fitness exercises improve your general well-being in addition to your physique.

If you are ever wondering if a food product is good or not, no skill is as indispensable as reading labels properly. Sometimes it is easy to be fooled. Just because a food is low in fat doesn’t mean it is low in calories. You can end up gaining weight on these products because you are eating more of them.

The first thing you need to figure out are how many calories each gram of each macronutrient holds. A gram of carbohydrate contains 4 calories, a gram of protein contains 4 calories and 1 gram of fat contains 9 calories. It is obvious then that we want to avoid fat as much as possible because it contains over double the calories of the other 2! If something says it has 5 grams of fat in it you simply multiply 5 by 9 which will tell you that 45 calories in product A are made up of fat calories.

Now this is where things can get tricky. What if I told you that product A only has 250 calories in total? This would mean that 18 percent of the calories in this product come from fat calories. Now let us take a look at product B which has 7 grams of fat per serving. And if we look further at the serving size of product B we find it is 420 calories. Again we multiply 7 by 9 which tells us that 63 of the 420 calories per serving in product B are made up of fat. But if we look at the percentage we find that it is only 15 percent! In the end product B is lower in fat. So be careful of advertising claims, always look at the whole picture. Don’t go by fat grams only.

Another great tip is to look at the order of the ingredients listed in a particular product. The ingredients always go in order from most to least. So if you pick up something and the first ingredient is “sugar” you know that it contains more sugar than anything else. Other names for sugar include dextrose, fructose, sucrose, glucose, corn syrup, honey and maple syrup. This information can be very helpful when reading food labels.

If you are monitoring any aspect of your diet such as calories for example always adjust the serving size to the portions you are going to take. You will always usually find the serving sizes near the top of the label. It is best to be as accurate as possible. Serving sizes are usually stated in packets, cups, grams or pieces.

You will also find cholesterol and sodium (salt) listed on the label. The Recommended Daily Intake (RDI) for cholesterol is 300 mg and for sodium it is 2,400 mg. Processed foods are especially high in sodium. And if we cut down on animal products cholesterol shouldn’t be as big of an issue. The RDI are just guidelines, we don’t need to follow them religiously. Everyone has different needs depending on their situation and if we follow the principles of good health we have learned so far these 2 factors shouldn’t be a problem.

Randy McLean enjoys abundant health and is the sole creator of the Healthy Eating Tips web site. Randy has discovered early on what works and what doesn’t. To start looking and feeling better visit http://www.healthy-eating-tips.com

The term ‘minerals’ refers to elements in their simple inorganic form. In nutrition they are commonly referred to as mineral elements or inorganic nutrients.

Minerals are vital to health. Like vitamins and amino acids, minerals are essential for regulating
and building the trillions of living cells which make up the body. Body cells receive the essential
food elements through the blood stream. They must, therefore, be properly nourished with an
adequate supply of all the essential minerals for the efficient functioning of the body.

Minerals help maintain the volume of water necessary to life processes in the body. They help
draw chemical substances into and out of the cells and they keep the blood and tissue fluid from
becoming either too acidic or too alkaline. The importance of minerals, like vitamins, is illustrated
by the fact that there are over 50,000 enzymes in the body which direct growth and energy and
each enzyme has minerals and vitamins associated with it. Each of the essential food minerals
does a specific job in the body and some of them do extra work, in teams, to keep body cells
healthy.

The mineral elements which are needed by the body in substantial amounts are
calcium, phosphorous, iron, sulphur, magnesium, sodium, potassium and chlorine. In addition
the body needs minute (trace) amounts of iodine, copper, cobalt, manganese, zinc, seleminum,
silicon, flourine and some others.

To learn more about the energy principle in healing, please read:

Cost-free Miracle Asthma Cure
Overcome Type I Diabetes and Type II Diabetes Naturally
Alternative Treatments for Incurable Diseases made easy

All of us are familiar with the pyramids of Egypt. These magnificent structures have stood for thousands of years, withstanding extreme heat and other factors that would bring down an ordinary structure.

When we look at these pyramids, we instinctively look toward the peak. We tend to do the same with the Cisco Learning Pyramid. If you’re not familiar with this, Cisco uses a pyramid to illustrate how the CCIE is at the peak of the Cisco certification structure, with the CCNP in the middle and the CCNA at the bottom.

I’m often asked how to become a CCIE. My response is always “Become a master CCNA and a master CCNP first”. That answer is often followed by a puzzled look, as though I’ve mentioned some new kind of Cisco certification. But that’s not it at all.

The reason the pyramids of Egypt are so strong, and the reason they have lasted for thousands of years, is that their foundations are so strong. It’s not the well-built peak that allows such a building to last it’s the foundation.

The same can be said for your Cisco certification studies. As a CCNA candidate, you may not even be thinking about the CCIE yet (although I hope you will!). You may be looking ahead toward the CCNP. You must realize, though, that the skills you will learn in your CCNP and CCIE studies are built upon the studies you do for your CCNA.

Indeed, your CCNA studies are the most important studies of your career. Let me repeat that. Your CCNA studies are the most important studies of your career. Look at some of the topics you’ll have to master for your CCNP and CCIE, such as OSPF and using binary math. You cannot understand how the many types of OSPF networks work unless you understand how OSPF works in the first place. And how can you possibly use wildcard masks, access control lists, and the many other applications of binary math you’ll encounter in your CCNP and CCIE studies if you don’t get that fundamental understanding of binary at the CCNA level?

I know we work in a field where our customers tend to want things done yesterday. I know that it’s hard not to be in a hurry when you’re studying for your CCNA - I’ve been there! Keep in mind, though, that when you’re studying for your CCNA, you’re not just studying for a certification exam - you’re building the foundation for the rest of your Cisco certifications and the rest of your career.

Chris Bryant, CCIE #12933, is the owner of The Bryant Advantage (www.thebryantadvantage.com), home of free CCNA and CCNP tutorials, The Ultimate CCNA Study Package, and Ultimate CCNP Study Packages. Video courses and training, binary and subnetting help, and corporate training are also available.

For a FREE copy of his latest e-books, “How To Pass The CCNA” or “How To Pass The CCNP”, send a request to chris@thebryantadvantage.com today !

Dietary supplements made from mangosteen are usually taken more for holistic health, rather than - in the case of mangosteen pills - to address any specific medical problems. The former approach may have far more validity than the latter. The curative properties of mangosteen as medicine are far from proven, but supplements made from it are definitely beneficial.

The best mangosteen supplements are manufactured from the peel, hull and pulp of the fruit. In these, the ratio is usually something like 40% fruit pulp/60% pureed pulp and hull. (The pulp by itself tastes great and has its own dietary advantages.) The label should confirm that peel and hull (pericarp) are present in the supplement.

Liquid mangosteen supplements are ideally ingested in amount varying from 30 ml to 90 ml per day. The daily intake should be spread over the day rather than taken as a single dose. Care should be taken that the chosen brand does not contain artificial sweeteners, preservatives or stabilizing agents, since these can negate the desirable effects of the supplement.

Various regimens are now available, including combinations of mangosteen juice and pericarp capsules. The problem however seems to be that most users seem to expect these supplements to have some miraculous curative powers, rather than seeing them for what they are - excellent adjunctive therapy. Doctors confirm that mangosteen supplements give support to most organs in the body and boost the immune system. Many medical practitioners prescribe it as a complement to traditional medications.

Mangosteen dietary supplements were first introduced on the American market in 2002, by a Utah-based company. Various brand names are available on the market these days, but the potential user should choose based on the contents that are by law mentioned on the label, rather than based on brand names. Nor should these contents vary from purchase to purchase if any benefits are to be derived.

Mangosteen provides detailed information about mangosteen, mangosteen fruit and more. Mangosteen is affiliated with Bottled Water Companies.

The purpose of using a tripod for digital photos is to reduce the chances of blurring the pictures. Even if for most parts, the image is clear, because of the slightest camera movement, the entire picture could be ruined. That’s why you will always see a tripod or monopod in a professional photographer’s camera bag! A camera tripod is extremely useful when taking pictures in dim light. When there isn’t enough light, the shutters are slower, therefore, increasing the chances of the digital image blurring out. A tripod can easily solve this problem. A tripod is also useful when you are planning to make large digital prints of the photos - a good support from a digital camera tripod will make a world of difference.

Well, even if you don’t have a tripod handy, you can always use someone else’s shoulder for support - just so your digital camera won’t shake as much when you take the shot. Well, in any case, it’s always better to use a tripod if there was a choice.

We see new models and types of digital cameras every single week, and the same thing can be said about tripods. The materials used to make digital camera tripods continue to change - the familiar aluminum tripod is now replaced with the lighter and more expensive carbon fiber tripod models. Although there’s quite a huge shift in pricing, some photographers think that investing in a lighter and more durable model of tripod is worth it - especially if they’re in the game for the money!

Before you buy a tripod for your digital camera, the first thing you must consider is how you plan to use the camera. There are essentially three heights that you can choose from…maximum, minimum and collapsed. It depends on the kind of tripod you like. The maximum tripod can be a little bit unstable as with everything tall and lanky. The minimum tripod can be a slightly inflexible, but is especially useful when taking low shots and trying adjust the lens to eye level. The collapsible is the most preferred type of tripod.

In professional photography, a tripod can help you take low shots on objects from the top. This can be done when you place the object on the floor and arrange the tripod on top of or slightly over the object, and then take a shot. Most of the high quality tripods come with a center column that enables you to adjust the height of the tripod according to your needs. Take your time and adjust the tripod height accordingly. To find the right angle, make adjustments to the tripod head.

With a tripod, you can easily take professional photographs even if you’ve never taken a professional photograph all your life! That’s how big a difference a tripod can make.

Dakota Caudilla, journalist, and website builder Dakota Caudilla lives in Texas. He is the owner and co-editor of http://www.tripods-and-more.info on which you will find a longer, more detailed version of this article.

To pass the CCNA exam, you’ve got to know the role of the bandwidth command with IGRP and EIGRP and when to use it. In this tutorial, we’ll configure IGRP over a frame relay hub-and-spoke network using the following networks:

R1 (the hub), R2, and R3 are running IGRP over the 172.12.123.0 /24 network. This is a T1 line.

R1 and R3 are also connected on a different subnet, 172.12.13.0 /24. The bandwidth of this connection is 512 KBPS.

R2 and R3 are also connected by an Ethernet segment, 172.23.0.0 /16.

We’ll configure IGRP on R1, R2, and R3 with the router igrp 1 command. IGRP will run on all interfaces in the 172.12.0.0 and 172.23.0.0 network.

R1#conf t

R1(config)#router igrp 1

R1(config-router)#network 172.12.0.0

The “1″ in the router igrp command refers to the Autonomous System (AS). IGRP is a classful routing protocol, so wildcard masks are not used in the network statements.

R2#conf t

R2(config-if)#router igrp 1

R2(config-router)#network 172.12.0.0

R2(config-router)#network 172.23.0.0

R3#conf t

R3(config-if)#router igrp 1

R3(config-router)#network 172.12.0.0

R3(config-router)#network 172.23.0.0

Run show ip route on R1. R1 will see three equal-cost paths to the Ethernet network. IGRP supports load-sharing over up to four equal-cost paths by default, so all three paths appear in the routing table. R1 will also see a route to the loopback address on R2 and two routes to the loopback address on R3. (You can also run show ip route igrp in order to see only the IGRP routes.)

R1#show ip route igrp

I 172.23.0.0/16 [100/8576] via 172.12.123.2, 00:00:02, Serial0

[100/8576] via 172.12.13.3, 00:00:02, Serial1

[100/8576] via 172.12.123.3, 00:00:01, Serial0

Remember that the numbers in the brackets following the network number in the routes are the Administrative Distance and the IGRP metric, in that order.

Note that classful masks are in use. IGRP does not support variable-length subnet masks (VLSM).

There are two serial connections between R1 and R3. IGRP is assuming that both lines are T1 lines, running at 1544 KBPS. The 172.12.13.0 network is participating in equal-cost load sharing because of IGRP’s bandwidth assumption - that all serial interfaces are connected to T1 lines.

To give IGRP a more accurate picture of the network’s bandwidth, configure bandwidth 512 on R1 and R3’s Serial1 interface (the interfaces on the 172.12.13.0 network).

R1#conf t

R1(config)#interface serial1

R1(config-if)#bandwidth 512

R3#conf t

R3(config)#interface serial 1

R3(config-if)#bandwidth 512

IGRP’s assumption that all serial lines run at 1544 KBPS is overridden by the bandwidth 512 command. IGRP now believes this line runs at 512 KBPS.

To see the effect of this command, clear your routing table on R1.

R1#clear ip route *

R1#show ip route igrp

I 172.23.0.0/16 [100/8576] via 172.12.123.3, 00:00:24, Serial0/0

[100/8576] via 172.12.123.2, 00:00:17, Serial0/0

The routing table is cleared with clear ip route *. To see only the routes received in IGRP updates instead of the entire table, run show ip route igrp.

One of the paths to 172.23.0.0 is now gone - the route that went through the 172.12.13.0 network. Now that IGRP sees that link as slower than the others, equal-cost load balancing will not occur over the 172.12.13.0 network.

It’s important to understand that the bandwidth command does not actually change the bandwidth of the connection; it changes IGRP’s assumption of what the bandwidth is.

In the next part of this IGRP load-balancing tutorial, we’ll take a look at how to configure unequal-cost load balancing.

Chris Bryant, CCIE #12933, is the owner of The Bryant Advantage, home of free CCNA and CCNP tutorials, The Ultimate CCNA Study Package, and Ultimate CCNP Study Packages.

For a FREE copy of his latest e-books, “How To Pass The CCNA” and “How To Pass The CCNP”, visit the website and download your free copies. You can also get FREE CCNA and CCNP exam questions every day! Get your CCNA study guide from The Bryant Advantage!

Melatonin Melatonin, or 5-methoxy-N-acetyltryptamine, is a hormone produced by pinealocytes in the pineal gland, located in the brain, but also in the retina and GI tract. It is a derivative of the amino acid tryptophan. Melatonin produced in the pineal gland acts as an endocrine hormone since it is released into the blood. On the other hand, melatonin produced by the retina and the GI tract is considered a paracrine hormone. Melatonin helps regulate sleep-wake or circadian rhythms. Normally, production of melatonin by the pineal gland is stimulated by darkness and inhibited by light. Melatonin can suppress libido by inhibiting secretion of luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) from the anterior pituitary gland — especially in mammals that have a breeding season when daylight hours are long, such as sheep. Nobel Prize laureate Julius Axelrod performed many of the seminal experiments elucidating the role of melatonin and the pineal gland in circadian rhythms. Beta blockers decrease nocturnal melatonin release. Melatonin is synthesized by various plants such as rice and ingested melatonin was shown to be capable of reaching and binding to melatonin binding sites in the brain of mammals. In recent times, melatonin has become available as a drug and a dietary supplement. It appears to have some use against insomnia and jet lag. Melatonin is a powerful antioxidant which can easily cross cell membranes. It has been studied for the treatment of cancer, immune disorders, cardiovascular diseases, depression, seasonal affective disorder, and sexual dysfunction; no apparent benefit in these has been found. To synthesize melatonin, serotonin is converted to N-acetylserotonin by the enzyme 5-HT N-acetyltransferase. N-acetylserotonin is then converted to melatonin by the enzyme 5-hydroxyindole-O-methyltransferase. See serotonin for details on how tryptophan is converted to serotonin. Melatonin has been shown to increase the lifespan of mice by 20% in some studies

http://www.alwaysnutrition.com

If you’re a typical user of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer(E), you’ve probably had problems with viruses, spam, computer attacks and goodness knows what else. The fact is, IE is a a very good browser in many respects but the bad guys just love to hack at it and bombard you with nasty bugs.

However, there is a better browser available that’s not subject to all these viruses and attacks.

This browser is called Mozilla Firefox from mozilla.org and it’s also available free. All you have to do is download it from www.mozilla.com.

Now, what might you ask, is mozilla.org?

Mozilla.org is a non-profit foundation that exists to provide organizational, legal, and financial support for the Mozilla open-source software project. Open-source software means that the foundation’s products are literally the work of hundreds of software engineers and programmers around the globe who contribute their skills and expertise to Mozilla products.

Why is Firefox “the better browser?

First, it gets less attention from hackers which means fewer viruses, et al. Second when hackers do discover a flaw in Firefox, the member of Mozilla.org rush in, and I mean rush in, to fix it. I have personally seen three flaws discovered in Firefox in the past six months and all were fixed and patches provided within two days.

Third, Firefox has several features still lacking in IE. Probably the best is one called “tabs,” that lets users open many different web sites at the same time, and then tab back and forth between them just by cliking on the tabs. For example, I have six tabs open right now, representing six different web sites. Theoretically, I could have 12, 15 or 20 sites open simultanrously, but that would probably just confuse me.

In addition, Firefox has drag-and-drop tabbing, an improved pop-up blocker, improved live bookmarks, a great download manager, and a new automatic update system that alerts you whenever security and functionality updates become available,

The current version of Firefox is 1.5. It also has all the stuff you’d expect with IE - bookmarks, tools, a link to free Hot Mail, and so forth. You can also download a number of different plug-ins to customize Firefox to your needs. For example, you can add FlashGot, Adblock, PDF viewer, an RSS news reader, QuickTime, and more.

The fact is, Firefox is fast and easy to download. You can try it and, if you don’t like it, just go back to Internet Explorer. However, my bet is that once you’ve used it, you’ll kiss IE goodbye.

Here’s something else that’s better and also free. It’s a new technology called HD Radio that enables AM and FM radio stations to broadcast their programs digitally. This is a tremendous technological leap from today’s familiar analog broadcasts. These digital broadcasts provide listeners with radically improved audio quality, more radio channels through multicasting, and new data services. To learn more about this amazing new technology, just go my Web site, http://www.hd-radio-home.com, to get all the buzz.

Douglas Hanna is a retired marketing executive and the author of more than 70 articles on HD radio, the Internet and family finances.

I can’t explain where, after thirty-one years, the need to
visit my mother’s grave came from. I was driving south on
Highway 99, thinking about this and wondering what to
expect when I got there. I first started feeling this need a few
months earlier and had ordered a copy of her death
certificate from the Office of Vital Statistics in Sacramento.
The death certificate gave me information that I had never
known: what the coroner had determined to be the cause of
death, where she was found, that she had been cremated,
and where she was buried.

My older brother, who was then twenty-one, had
made all the arrangements for cremation and burial. He had
not
seen the urn that mother was put in, nor the grave plot
where she was buried. Our family handled difficult times by
getting the job done, ignoring the pain and “bucking up”
we were all that way, even me at fourteen.

Not one of her children, a daughter and three sons,
had
ever been to see her grave. Our mother represented some
significantly painful times in all our lives. As much as we
claimed to have moved on and gotten over these issues, we
still couldn’t bear to be in her presence. So, now, here I was,
entering unfamiliar and somewhat frightening emotional
territory, drawn by a need which I could no longer ignore.

The cemetery personnel helped me find mother’s
plot.
The sight of her name engraved in the granite plaque began
to bring the reality of my mother into my heart. I sat in the
grass before her grave reading her name over and over,
feeling in the same breath a deep sadness and a sense of
relief. I wrote a poem:

Elizabeth A. Gilbert

1912 - 1965

The phone call

just after Christmas

and I was carefully told

that mother had died.

I was only sad:

what had been a slow process for her

was now confirmed.

Today - thirty-one years later -

I came to see her grave.

I came not expecting anything from her

and not knowing what to expect from myself.

For those thirty-one years I have tried

to ignore the life of this one person

who carried me in her womb.

When ignoring didn’t work,

disclaiming, dishonoring and disengaging came,

and almost too easily.

I thought maybe I would cry tears of anger

of loss, of loneliness, of despair,

but none of that was there.

She is planted midway between a valley oak

and a lovely spreading willow tree,

each not more than ten paces away.

The simple concrete and granite marker,

I realized, had never been touched

by anyone she had touched.

That changed today:

I passed my handsover its surface

and blew the dust

out of the channels

of the engraved letters that have spoken

her name only to the unhearing ears

about her.

They now spoke to me.

No. There was no anger or remorse -

although I did ask forgiveness

for this visit taking so long to happen.

I closed my eyes in the shade of that oak,

and I remembered…

my mother’s abundant laugh and energy;

the way she shielded my eyes from the Arizona sun;

the songs and circle of glowing faces

about the campfire.

There are not many memories yet,

but these are the ones that came to me

as I looked at her grave.

You are not abandoned, mother.

I need you and want you as you did me.

I am finally here to learn the remaining lessons

and to remember.

Upon returning home, I wrote my two brothers
and
my sister a few words about this experience and enclosed
the poem. I expressed the thought that this cemetery in the
Central Valley really isn’t where mother belongs. The
response I got from all three of my siblings showed me that
something in their hearts was drawing them in a similar
direction - my visit and my poem had opened some
possibilities that none of us had considered before.

We decided to have her cremated body removed
from
the cemetery. We would take them to a place in Oregon
where she had grown up, and where we had spent many
summers as a family. This seemed right and good to all of
us. Being the funeral director in the family, I offered to make
the arrangements with the cemetery. I had no idea of the
power that this next experience would hold for me. I again
drove down to where mother was, this time to bring her
home with me. Afterward, I wrote a letter to my niece
describing this experience:

“When I arrived at the cemetery, they had
already
dug down to where mother’s remains were encased in a
cement vault. Two young guys had done the digging and
were taking a little break, leaning on their shovels.

Everyone was quietly respectful of me when I
walked
up. The lady there offered to bring me a cup of coffee. One
guy in a tie commented on the beautiful valley oak
quercus lobata and educated me on their efforts to save
them.

It was an interesting perspective for me as a
funeral
director to feel the efforts to make me more comfortable
sincere, yet unnecessary. People just need to be allowed to
have their experience, and given the emotional and
interpersonal space for that experience to happen. It doesn’t
need to be facilitated, encouraged or stoked.

They were able after a little effort to loose the top of
the
urn vault, and lift it off. Mother’s cremated remains had been
placed in a simple pine box, and then inside the concrete
vault. When the vault top was lifted off by one of the guys
lying on his belly, arms outstretched into the grave, I could
see that the pine box had deteriorated, and the cremated
remains sloughed out. After the top of the vault was out, the
guy carefully lifted out the flat concrete bottom on which were
the old pine urn and mother’s remains. He set them down
on the grass next to the hole. I had brought a container with
me for just this purpose. They all stood around watching
me.

Up to now I was pretty removed from the occasion.
They
were doing their cemetery duty and I was familiar with it all.
But now, there I was, kneeling in the grass with what was
left of my mother in a little pile before me. I began picking up
the ashes in my hands and placing them in the container I
had brought. I couldn’t remember the last time I had touched
mother over thirty-two years ago. Here I was touching her:
not a picture or a memento - I was touching her. These
cremated remains became something different to me now. I
have seen thousands of “sets” of cremated remains in my
work, and have had the intellectual knowing that they had
once been a person. But now my personal experience was
that here was my mother.

I had the sense that at this time, this occasion, this
place of awareness, I was touching and holding her more
intimately and closely than I ever had before. Perhaps this
intimacy could only be borne out of the journey of our lives to
this time: my life passing through the crucible of my
experience, and her body being reduced to ashes. Fire does
reduce things to their most basic elements.

One of the fellows brought me a brush and a little
scoop, but I continued to gather mother up in my hands. He
offered to help, but I declined the offer saying that I needed
to do this myself. He shook his head, seeming to realize
that his good intention came more from something stirring
in his heart than he realized. He stepped away a few paces.

When I was done, I asked that the large and quite
heavy
grave marker be placed in my car. I also took the vault that
had held mother beneath the earth for thirty-one years, and
the decrepit pine urn. My sister and brothers would want to
have an experience of all this: where she has been all these
years, waiting for a reunion of those who carry her legacy.

As I drove north, I pictured mother sitting next to me

she really was present in the car. I pondered what I would
say to her, what I would want her to know about my life, who
I am. I cried. I realized how much I had missed mother, how
much I have loved her, and how ready I am to let go.”

My brother, the one who had made the
cremation
and burial arrangements thirty-one years earlier, came to
visit me. He knew I had mother, the grave marker, the urn
and the urn vault. He wanted to see it all. As he looked at the
marker with her name engraved in the plaque, he began to
weep. He wanted to wash it. I got him a bucket of warm
water, a brush and a sponge. He knelt down and began to
gently and carefully wash mother’s name and the granite
which held it. I could relate to what he was feeling, but this
moment was for him.

We have not yet taken mother to Oregon, but the
plans
are set. The four of us will gather on her birthday in June to
scatter her cremated remains. We will have our families
with us. I am taking the time now to consider what words I
will say and what will be most meaningful for myself, my
three siblings and our children and mother. I have the
distinct awareness that this time of unity with my mother will
be a significant moment for my children in knowing a
grandmother they have never met.

In my profession, I hear the word “closure” used
frequently. I think this word reflects an attitude that
permeates much of our culture that following a death
something needs to be closed or brought to a conclusion. In
my experience I found that “opening” is what truly brought
the life, death and influence of my mother into the light of
understanding, love and release. I am not an expert in
psychology, but I have come to my own conclusions about
grief: it is not an emotion, it is an emotional process. In our
culture pain is something we avoid, hence we want
“closure,” we want it over. Grief is painful, but avoiding the
pain is avoiding the process, which only keeps a person
stuck. Moving through the process however long that
takes brings not closure, but opening.

For better or worse, I am a person that has a
history, a
legacy, a heritage. What has been before shows itself in
who I am. And then this is given to my progeny. This
experience with my mother has opened me to an
awareness that my life doesn’t just begin and end, but it is a
part of a continuum of life and death. I am now learning to
honor who I am now and where I desire to go by honoring
where I have come from. My sincere desire is to contribute
to the lives of those I love most dearly, to make a difference
for them and for the world I live in. I have seen that “opening”
is the only way to do that with both conscious intent and
personal power.

——–

Stephen Gilbert has spent more than 30 years in
personal and professional coaching, griefwork, training,
ministry, and funeral service. He is certified as a
Management Effectiveness Coach, a Griefwork Coach, and
is a licensed funeral director. He works both in corporate
settings and with individuals. Through his coaching,
individuals become more effective in critical areas of life,
such as career direction and change, addiction recovery,
creative expression, interpersonal relationships, and
attaining personal and professional goals.

He is well known as a powerful workshop leader if
the field of griefwork. His workshop, called Being With
Grief, has help hundreds of people move through some of
the most challenging of human experiences. He also offers
training and workshops care giving professionals and other
that work directly with the bereaved.

Stephen offers coaching services for personal
transformation, grief process and professional development
in either group or individual contexts.

http://www.personaLegacy.com